Minding

I started seeing a therapist last week; the same one the kids have seen so there's already somewhat of an established relationship and knowledge of each other and where I'm coming from/what I'm dealing with. Even though we didn't talk about anything I haven't been open about countless times before, and nothing I'm uncomfortable talking about, it still left me feeling fairly morose the rest of the day. I hope this proves to be a productive journey. I wonder whether it will be easier or harder when/if I get around to talking about some of the harder things, like the assault, that I'm only now starting to come to terms with myself.

Thursday

Things have been equally stressful and pleasant the past week. Tv good. Kids great. Rael is doing so much better in school. Car is dying. Denise is consistent only in her defiance of every court ordered visitation stipulation she demanded in the first place. Money isn't tight; it's completely non-existent.

Actually, when things are quiet the darkness really pushes on me a lot harder than the light. I think I'm drowning.