Fortuitous

My Fortune Cookie told me: Help, I have been kidnapped and forced to work as a prisoner in the fortune cookie factory! Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Bad Pagan

So I completely forgot to celebrate Winter Solstice until the 22nd (on the 20th, I was positive the 21st was two days away and didn't realize my error), though once celebrated it was quite Bacchanalian and very very pleasant.

As I likely won't be on again until after the Christmas holiday is over, I wish you all a merry little Christmas.

Gifts to the World

You can totally blame Travis for this one. It's Grr-eat.

Need Glasses?

What diet?

Mmm. Mint chocolate chip cookies. Yumm.

Spidey's Nice But More Glad I Tied for Flash

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% The Flash 75% Hulk 60% Iron Man 60% Green Lantern 55% Robin 45% Catwoman 45% Wonder Woman 40% Supergirl 40% Batman 30% Superman 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Dreaded Holiday Meme

A mixture of Aimee and boredom has me on this one.

1. Do you have a real or fake Christmas tree?
It's real, but made of plastic.

2. Do you put up Christmas lights on the exterior of your home?
Sure don't.

3. What’s your favorite Christmas song/carol?
I don't have one.

4. What do you like better - turkey or ham?
Turkey.

5. Do you open up any Christmas presents on Christmas Eve?
We usually open one.

6. Have you ever been Christmas caroling?
When I was 17/18 or so.

7. What’s your favorite Christmas movie?
The Mr. Hanky episode of South Park.

8. Have you ever built a real snowman?
Yeah

9. Have you ever peeked into a present and found out what it was before Christmas?
Yeah, but my sister was worse--when she was five she opened everybody's presents and tried to hide her misdeed by putting all of the evidence (presents included) under her bed.

10. What is on the top of your Christmas tree?
An ornament or something. I don't know, that stuff isn't my thing.

11. Do you own a Santa hat?
I do, for purely adult reasons.

12. When was the last time you had your picture taken with Santa Claus?
Long enough ago that I can't recall.

13. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?
Sigh.

14. Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree?
Sometimes.

15. Who is the hardest person to buy for?
Denise.

16. Who is the easiest person to buy for?
Lash.

17. Travel at Christmas or stay at home?
Stay home, make them come to me if they aren't already in town.

18. What does your morning of Christmas routine consist of?
Ordered chaos. We're doing something different this year--holidaying with the Taylors, but our usual Christmas day (though Denise and I refer to it as Yule) consists of getting up too early with the kids, passing out gifts, opening them, eating something, the kids going off to play, Denise and I marathoning something on the DVD player (one year was the 3 extended Lord of the Rings. I think last year was CSI. This year I'd shoot for Veronica Mars, but we'll be heading out of the house before any real marathoning would be complete). Me slaving over a delicious ham, etc.

19. What do you want for Christmas this year?
You know, there are material things, to which you already have a guide (plus blank dvds), but really I just want to know that the people I care about are happy. And I want lots and lots of sex.

20. What are you most thankful for this Christmas?
My health, so that I can be here with the local people I love.

Cryptic

While it's been obvious I've been in a down mood lately, and some of you have astutely surmised that it's been due to issues between me and Denise (some more astutely than others), I just want to let y'all know, in case anyone was worried, that I'm ok, that we're ok, and that the issues are working themselves out. So you don't need to worry any longer (and thanks).






Of course, I'm still in a down mood, but that has everything to do with the holidays, and nothing to do with any other aspects of my personal life.

Michael Bay is Raping My Childhood

The new updated versions of the Transformers . . . just so painful.

Bumblebee is no longer a Volkswagon Bug . . . why the hell keep the name now? He's gone from the heart of the Autobots to a frickin' camaro with shoulder mounted missiles.

Megatron's a jet instead of a gun...

Jazz is no longer a Porsche 935 but instead some lame Honda or something . . . Rathet's a friggin hummer.

Sigh.

And sadly, my kids're probably going to demand we see it.

Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel

Happy Hannukah, my Jewish peeps (or as my good friends' son would say, Happy Harmonica).

Exercising My Seven Deadly Sins

Pride:

Tonight Lash competed in his school-wide spelling bee (4th through 6th graders--he's 4th). He thoroughly enjoyed it and veritably skipped to the microphone each time it was his turn to spell a word. And while one of his parents had less faith in him (ahem, wife), I've practiced with him and expected him to do all right.

Lash took 1st place in his school spelling bee. He missed one word (inaugural) once he was in the top three, but both of his competitors missed it as well so none were eliminated from that round. His winning word: predecessor.

Now that he's won this one, he moves on to the county-wide spelling bee in the Spring.

I love the nerd.

Envy:
This one's all Denise's. See, when she was a kid, she used to compete in these things (I thought they were a myth, as I never competed in one) and she'd never done as well as Lash did tonight, so she's a wee bit envious.

Though we're both proud.

Vaguery

I've been beginning to rethink a decision we made this weekend, wondering how much I may have been overreacting to things, how much I've already been able to deal with, how much I trust...

Meh.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want excitement in their lives. Sometimes it can be a bit of a headache.

Netflix: Kevin Smith presents: Now You Know C/C+; Hate Crime B-; Veronica Mars Season 1 Disc 1 A+

Our apt. managers are offering us a $400 gift card for extending out lease another year (through September, 2008). I have to say that with the holiday, and kids expecting to get any presents this year, it's tempting. But do I really want to tie us down to this overly noisy, slightly pricey apartment for the next two years?

Continued Bouts of Nothing Important

Your Eyes Should Be Blue (and they are--Ev)

Your eyes reflect: Innocence and sweetness What's hidden behind your eyes: A calculating mind

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Your Heart Is Orange

Love equals unbridled happiness for you. You enjoy the wild ride of falling in love. And while the ride is fun for a while, you always get off once the thrill is gone. Your flirting style: Hyper Your lucky first date: Anything you need your passport for! Your dream lover: Is both daring and well grounded What you bring to relationships: Energy

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Your Japanese Name Is...

Ryu Kaoin (Haduken!)

What's your Japanese Name?

Your Seduction Style: The Coquette Hated the book...

You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your Penis Name Is...

Light Saber (now I'm insecure and geeked out)

Penis Name Generator

Your Observation Skills Get A B

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

You Are 48% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Your New Year's Resolutions

1) Get a pet pony 2) Eat more Cheetos 3) Travel to Sweden 4) Study Latin 5) Get in shape with surfing

What Should Your New Year's Resoluton Be?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

Your Seduction Style: Sex Pot

Tradionally known as a "siren", "rake", or "femme fatale." You exude sensuality. And while your sexiness is part of what makes you an incredible seducer... Your ability to make others feel sexy is what really makes your seduction skills shine. Most people don't feel attractive or desired enough - a need which you tap into. You have the ultimate sex appeal, and getting attention from you is a total self esteem boost. Your confidence is contagious, and you help others unleash their own sexuality. Your sex pot seduction skills are so intoxicating that you can get away with... well, almost murder. Lovers feel like your sensuality is in your blood, so it's only natural if you flirt a little. And if you stray, that might be okay as well - as long as you make your lover still feel hot.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

You Were Nice This Year! Evs

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list. You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year. Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good. Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

You've Experienced 68% of Life

You have all of the life experience that most adults will ever get. And unless you're already in your 40s, you're probably wise beyond your years.

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were! You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji. You even answer your phone "moshi moshi." While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope. Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Your Stripper Song Is

Master and Servant by Depeche Mode "There�s a new game We like to play you see A game with added reality You treat me like a dog Get me down on my knees" Yawn, dancing is so boring without a little spice.

What Song Should You Strip To?

You Scored 65% Correct For shame!

You are a solid child of the 80s You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit You know every word to Little Red Corvette

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

Layers of Me

“A meme to peel away the layers of you.”

LAYER ONE:
– Name: D. Evan Peterson
– Birth date: June 18, 1974
– Birthplace: San Jose, CA
– Current Location: Chico, CA

– Eye Color: Blau
– Hair Color: Braun
– Height: 1.83 meters
– Righty or Lefty: Righty - mostly
– Zodiac Sign: Gemini

LAYER TWO:
– Your heritage: Portuguese/Norwegian
– The shoes you wore today: Cammo Idols
– Your weakness: Carbs
– Your fears: Loss
– Your perfect pizza: bbq chicken bacon from Papa Johns
– Goal you’d like to achieve: Being independently wealthy

LAYER THREE:
– Your most overused phrase: Whatcha thinkin'?
– Your first waking thoughts: Snooze...
– Your best physical feature: My hair I guess
– Your most missed memory: Building sand castles at night on Avila beach with Tassy. That or Micah. Or that thing I'm taking a break from. Sigh.

LAYER FOUR:
– Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi Jazz is my current soft drink.
– McDonald’s or Burger King: I prefer neither
– Single or group dates: Group
– Adidas or Nike: Grinders
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither
– Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
– Cappuccino or coffee: Mocha

LAYER FIVE:
– Smoke: Nope
– Cuss: Often
– Sing: Not if anyone is around
– Take a shower everyday: Mostly
– Do you think you’ve been in love: Yeah
– Want to go to college: Doing it now
– Liked high school: I don’t remember much about it
– Want to get married: I have
– Believe in yourself: Not often enough
– Get motion sickness: Nope
– Think you’re attractive: Nope
– Think you’re a health freak: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
– Get along with your parent(s): Nope
– Like thunderstorms: yes…
– Play an instrument: I keep telling myself I'm gonna learn guitar

LAYER SIX: In the past month…
– Drank alcohol: Yeah
– Smoked: No
– Done a drug: No, only those prescribed me.
– Made Out: Yeah; not often enough.
– Gone on a date: Yeah
– Gone to the mall?: Nope
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Nope
– Eaten sushi: Nope!! Now I want some
– Been on stage: Kinda
– Been dumped: Nope
– Gone skating: Nope
– Made homemade cookies: Nope
– Gone skinny dipping: Nope--too cold. Ask me in the late Springtime.
– Dyed your hair: Nope
– Stolen Anything: Hmm

LAYER SEVEN: Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes
– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
– Been caught “doing something”: Yes
– Been called a tease: Yes
– Gotten beaten up: No
– Shoplifted: Yes
– Changed who you were to fit in: Yes

LAYER EIGHT:
– Age you hope to be married: Already am: 22
– Numbers and Names of Children: Three and they have unique names
– Describe your Dream Wedding: One with lots of presents and almost none of our relatives.
– How do you want to die: I’d rather not
– Where you want to go to college: I’m attending CSU Chico
– What do you want to be when you grow up: Beach Bum
– What country would you most like to visit: Canada (I'm easy)

LAYER NINE:
– Number of drugs taken illegally: I plead the fifth
– Number of people I could trust with my life: I can count them on one hand, but more than one. Actually, when you really think about it, we all trust a lot of people with out lives.
– Number of CDs that I own: Lots
– Number of piercings: 3 so far
– Number of tattoos: 2 'til January
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Absolutly no clue
– Number of scars on my body: A bunch
– Number of things in my past that I regret: I don't have a number for that. Many things.

Monotonous Question Thingamajig

1. What curse word do you use the most?
Cunt. And it's one of the most beautiful words in the english language. Second most would be the one that violates a Commandment.

2. Do you own an iPod?
Not yet.

3. Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?
Either Ian or Sam.

4. What time is your alarm clock set for?
7:21 AM.

5. What color is your room?
The walls are aged white.

6. Flip flops or sneakers?
Depends on whether it's raining or not.

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take the picture

8. Do any of your friends have children?
Some of them do.

9. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Who hasn't?

10. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
Not lately.

11. What CD is currently in your CD player?
Relient K's "2 rights don't make a left, but 3 do"

12. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Chocolate.

13. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Only when I've forced it out of them.

14. Have you ever given someone a hickey?
Yeah.

15. Who was the last person to call you?
A telemarketer from Girls Gone Wild.

16. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
More and more often.

17. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Still do.

18. How many siblings do you have?
I have no full siblings, two half siblings, two sibling-in-laws and about 3 "siblings at heart."

19. Are you shy around the opposite sex?
Sometimes.

20. What movie do you know every line to?
Clerks. The Princess Bride.

21. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Yes.

22. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Italian.

23. Do you read for fun?
Often.

24. Do you cry a lot?
Not a lot, but more often than I like.

25. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
Desktop, so far.

26. What is the weather like?
Overcast and threatening rain.

26. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Of course. Why are there two questions 26?

27. Is sex before marriage wrong?
Not to me.

28. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Sometime this summer after a fight with Denise.

29. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
5-6.

30. Are you in love or lust?
I'd have to say both.

31. Are your days full and fast-paced?
No. Not both.

32. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
That I do.
33. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
33.

34. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Yes, but I often lie and say I'm not in order to spare your illiterate feelings.

35. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yep, Six Flags Over Magic Mountain.

36. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
No.

37. Do you like Cottage Cheese?
No..

38. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
Almost never my tummy. I move around between sides and back all night.

39. Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
I have.

40. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Some.

41. What song did you last sing out loud?
Very oddly for me, The Dance by Garth Brooks, and it wasn't playing anywhere in the background.

42. What is your favorite TV show?
Heroes.

43. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
December 5th.

44. What one thing do you wish you had?
I'm going to refrain from answering that one.

45. What are your plans for the weekend?
I don't know anymore. Our usual plans may be out because people haven't been returning calls.

46. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Almost exclusively open. I'm a creep.

47. Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex?
I'd rather both and won't say more for fear of hurting anyone's feelings.

48. Can you fix your own car?
Not if my life depended on it.

49. Have you been in love?
Sigh.

50. Do you miss anyone right now?
I do.

Grump

There's a lot of uncertainty going on with me right now (which is my way of saying the dark mood from a few posts back still pervades). These days I'm dealing with a decent amount of falseness and secrecy intersecting with my day-to-day and it can be frustrating (and I realize my own vagueness here can be frustrating as well, but in some ways vagueness is helping keep me sane). I'm beginning to fear I'm losing touch with how people work.

Not Keeping Up With the Joneses

I just read that on November 14th South Africa legalized same-sex marriage.

How is it that this country is so ass-backward that the nation we know best for apartheid and blood diamonds is the fifth country to legalize gay marriage and we aren't even close?

Tsk.

Jitters

It's odd, though I've been doing it for for nigh on sixteen years, no matter how often I perform in front of a crowd, I always get the nervous jitters and consider backing out.

I have a poetry reading tonight at 7 and I'd much rather be anywhere else right now, doing almost anything else.