Do You Believe in Magic?

50 Book Challenge, Books 16-18: Harry Potter and: the Chamber of Secrets; The Prisoner of Azkhaban; the Goblet of Fire, all by JK Rowling as if you didn't already know (seeing as I'm the only literate English speaker in the universe, it seems, who hasn't already read all seven of these books). As I write this I'm on page 53 of book 5, The Order of the Phoenix, and if the dementor attack on Dudley is in the 5th movie then I'm ready to go see it, Brian. For the time being, I won't be reading any further in Potter; I have a few hundred unread comics to sift through and have told Denise I refuse to continue in her favourite book in the series until she recommences the Dark Tower series (ironically, she quit at the lobstrosities because they were fantastical creatures; ironic because this Potter fantasy series is her favourite series of books and goes reread at least once yearly).

Given what I wrote in this post, there was obviously enough entertainment in books 2-4 to keep me deciding to read the next book. As I mention above, you've all read these already, so I won't was loquacious about what worked; instead I'll share me problems:

1. Harry Potter is a total prat. He spends a great deal of time pointing out how wonderful and trustworthy Dumbledore is in every book thus far; Dumbledore constantly shows himself as an understanding and trustworthy mentor, and yet Potter constantly keeps very important events hidden from Dumbledore because he doesn't trust Dumbledore to be understanding. It's enough hypocrisy to make Scott Summers proud. I was very pleased in the 4th book to find that, while Harry was keeping everything secret from Dumbledore, again, Dumbledore already knew everything because he and Sirius were keeping their knowledge and communications secret from hypocrite Harry.

2. If any random wizarding owl can find anyone anywhere to deliver post, why don't the Aurors just affix magickal tracking devices to a few letters and send owls to deliver these letters to the fugitives/villains they seek like Sirius and Wormtail? This really bothered me in book 4 when Harry was using every random owl he could to reach Sirius, I mean if the owls are that capable, you'd think the wizards would be more crafty with them.

3. If Snape is really anti-Voldemort, and knows Malfoy's a death eater, why is he so encouraging of young Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle in their nefarious activities?

4. I absolutely hated how Bill & Ted book 3 was (which I hated about movie 3 too).

Actually, complaining about Potter is tiring me. Anyway, I'll get back to reading book 5 just as soon as Denise starts reading Drawing of the Three again.

Fuck Stephen King. Fuck Him in His Fucking Ear!

As many of you know, I've been faithfully re-reading the Dark Tower series, and first reading the last three books in the series (all released in the past year), far and beyond my favorite story of Stephen King's. I write this in defense of those nutjobs (of which I must be one) who get so engrossed in the lives of fictional characters that what happens to these characters creates intense emotional, often somewhat insane, reactions. I mean, when Joey chose Pacey over Dawson, millions of teen girls were livid.

For me, it comes to this, for some unknown reason, my favorite chearacters always die. It's as if authors somehow channel into me, find what needs to be done in order to make me love a character and then goes out of their way to kill the character off, often in nonsensical out-of-character deaths. Sometimes it feels as if the author is saying that the characters I love aren't good enough. I hate falling in love with a fictional character and then seeing the character die.

It's less of a shock if the character is short-lived (perhaps spanning just one book, television episode or portion of a movie), but even then, if extremely well written/portrayed, it still gets me. It's worse when the fictional character is a part of your psyche for years and years. I can see why Annie goes so crazy in Misery and for the first time ever, I think I'm actually siding with her.

Take the Dark Tower as an example. While I've been reading the series only since 1992 (thirteen years for those who can't subtract), there are readers who've been with this cast of characters since the seventies; readers who have loved these characters and clamored for more books and lined King's pockets for thirty years. But note where I put the emphasis, because for true fans, that's the only place that really matters.

Imagine if Sam Raimi wrote an Evil Dead 4 movie. Imagine he writes himself in as a character--a character named Sam Raimi who created the universe that the main protagonist Ash lives in. Imagine this fourth installment revealing that for in order for Ash to save humanity from the Deadites, he has to save Sam Raimi from being hit by a van while walking in the woods so that Sam Raimi can live to write the fourth movie you're watching unfold. And then Ash gets hit by the van and dies saving Sam Raimi.

What the guff, man? Let's not just tear apart the fourth wall. Let's not just toss in an incredible headache of surrealism into a form that doesn't quite need it. No, instead, let's do all of that AND kill off our favorite character while doing so.

So, I'm a bit over halfway through the final book of the Dark Tower, already broken up inside a little over what's happened thus far, and then King does exactly that (only, obviously, it isn't Sam Raimi and Ash, it's Stephen King and his character, saving himself from the van that hit him in real life).

I literally almost stopped reading the book. I know that if I don't finish it in the next couple days, I likely will never finish it. These have been characters that have been a part of my psyche for half my life almost. This is a series I'm constantly dreaming up cast wish lists and script ideas for, because while there is no movie, there is one in my head. Though fictional, stepping into their world is like visiting an old friend. Stephen King just hit one of my best friends with a van meant for him.