Loving Me Loving You

Starting off, a trailer for blog posts to come: an update on CB the cell phone kid, adventures in guinea pigs, McBoomerangs suck, absolutes, shiny photographs, killing Santa and throwing up at the movies. Brought to you by the letter E and the number 3.

A TMI Tuesday meme Wednesday, because that's how I roll.

1. If your partner buys you a sexy little "something" is it a present for you or for your partner?
That really depends on whether I enjoy it more than they do.

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"?
a-liking me; I find that I'm more attracted to folks who obviously like me back than folks who need to be worked hard on; b-scent plays a huge role in a person being my type; I know it's a bit of an odd answer, as most people jump to the visual indicators, but smell (and I don't mean simple lack of B.O.) can completely make or break you (I dumped one girlfriend after our first kiss because I didn't like her scent and knew I wouldn't get past it); c-good complexion.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good a cook are you?
If you've had a real meal made by me, you'd know I break that scale significantly past 10 and am just too humble to give you another number.

4. Tattoos: Love them or hate them. On you? On a partner?
Getting tattoos is addicting, so I love them for me. I am ambivalent about tats on others. I generally find tattoos to be very sexy, with exceptions. I find trendy tattoos a turn-off (tribal bands or barbed wire, cartoon characters ((though any comic nerd friend of mine with a comic tat that I knew meant more than trendyness to them would be an exception to this one, like if Drew got a Flash tat, or Chris' Captain Marvel tat)), roses...). Knowing your tat means something to you is a turn on; "dude, I got this because it's, like, hella awesome" makes me want to barf in your biscuits. There are tat placements I hate too--feet, breasts, face and hand tats make me want to flee.

5. Stubble: Good or bad? How often do you shave?
I find stubble on guys, if growing in evenly and full, sexy. If it comes in patchy, shave it off, chump. On girls, not at all. Me, I shave my face daily except Sundays, on a bad week I might skip a day (my stubble is slow enough that I can barely get away with it at work if I skip a shave once).


Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)?

To all the newbies reading this for the first time, just keep reading and you'll figure me out a lot more; to everyone else, this is a pretty useless question.

h.w.c.

TMI Tuesday time:
1. Are you a member of the mile high club?

I can't say that I am, no. I've only flown twice, and sans partner each time.

2. What is the most public place you have ever had sex?

That would be a toss-up between three different places: a theater, a church and a former place of employment.

3. What is your most embarrassing family moment?

I'm guessing this is meant to be an embarrassing sexual memory w/ family involved? I don't really have any.

4. What kind of birth control do you use?

I use condoms (pretty much my only non-surgical option). She can use whatever she prefers.
5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain?

No to the former. Yes to the latter. It's cold.

Bonus (as in optional):Describe your flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact?

Save for dirty joking, which I don't do at all, I've used innuendo, talk about sex life and physical contact as parts of flirting technique interchangeably and variably.

S-E-X-X-X-Y

A few weeks worth of TMI Tuesday memes for prurience's sake (and my tired laziness):

1. Have you ever met a fellow blogger in person?
I have. The lovely Aimee graced us with her presence last year and it was fantastic. Many of the other bloggers I frequent, chat with, etc. (Chris, Chrissy, Travis, Shel) I knew IRL before they were ever bloggers, and I was online friendly with Drew via e-mail for years prior to blogging or meeting him in person this past August.

2. Did you ever play an innocent game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"? How old where you?
I was in my twenties.

3. When did you get your first not so innocent kiss?
8th grade, which was 1987 or 1988.

3a.If your partners are no longer of the opposite sex, when did you get that first kiss?
My first same sex kiss was summer of 1995.

4. Have you ever awoke with someone who's name you did not remember?
No.

5. Have you ever let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?
OF COURSE! I mean hello isn't that some of the greatest fore- or aft- play?

Bonus (as in optional): What makes a great first date for you?
I think any date where I feel as if there's a real good amount of chemistry building between me and the person is a great date. I don't need any sort of specific type or date, destination or activity for it to be great, just for it to be non-awkward.

TMI #2:

1. Do you believe in ghosts? If so have you every seen one?
Yes I do believe in ghosts. I believe to have seen a few.

2. What’s the scariest movie you ever saw?
When I saw the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie as a young kid, alone at home at night, that movie scared the fuck out of me. To this day, sadly, I can't watch Blair Witch without the lights on.

3. If you were given a house that was free would you accept it if it was haunted?
Sure. But if I couldn't deal with the haunting, I would just sell it

4. If you were given a house that was free would you accept it if the last person had been murdered in it?
Sure. As long as their murderer still wasn't living in it.

5. What was your most favorite costume you wore for Halloween?
I have one planned, but I haven't worn one yet.

Bonus (as in optional): What’s your most memorable Halloween memory?
As a teenager, there was a Halloween roaming the streets with my friends Lincoln (RIP) and Kristil where we got jumped by a bunch of rednecks that was very memorable.


TMI#3:

1. If they kept stats of your sex life like they do in sports, what would you lead the league in? What all time record would you hold?
Reception of unfulfilling homoerotic moments from straight folk.

2. What song gets you in the mood to have sex? best music to fuck to? best music to make love to?
There really isn't any music that gets me in the mood. I'm definitely not a big fan of hard rock, but I find groups like Nine Inch Nails and their ilk oddly make good coital soundtracks. For lovemaking I like the same stuff, but softer, pretty much anything acoustic and emo.

3. Where is your favorite place to have sex in your house/apartment?
Anywhere my darling wife is at.

4. (girls) Have you sent or given your used panties to a guy? Do you know what happened to them? (guys) Have you taken/asked for a girls panties before? What did you do with them? (non-breeders) What is the protocol for this "tradition"?
No, I'm not all that into trophies.

5. What makes a kiss a great to you?
The connection. It can be soft and gentle or rough and hard, but there has to be the connection. Two people locked together in one of the most innocent of sex acts. The best part of a great kiss is when the flip switches. You are kissing, but then all of a sudden it moves form kissing to passion. You can't get enough of each other. You have to kiss harder or deeper. Touch each other. Rip each other's clothes off. There can be so much built into a kiss, but it shouldn't be routine. It shouldn't be something you do to start things off. It should be the thing that starts to get you off.
(This was Mark's answer, but he's said it perfectly. I'll have to add though that I've yet to meet a guy who made a decent kisser)

Bonus: Who pays for a date? If the girl asks a guy out, does she pay? If you are interested in same sex partners, how do you determine who pays?
I think that whomever instigates the date should be the one to pay for it or to at least make sure the invitee knows they need to do the paying instead.

Marilyn Manson Ate My Girlfriend

Mark has coerced me into doing this with bald faced flattery. I, however, will not tag anybody this time. If you feel like meme-ing, pretend I tagged you...

*What side of the heart do you draw first?
The outside, naturally.

*Can you dive without plugging your nose?
I generally just jump in feet-first, and do not plug my nose. Also, while diving down within the water, my nose remains plug-free.

*What colour is your phone?
Both are black and grey.

*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
The interesting thing about this question is deciding on what basis to answer it. I could pick one who has a mind or life I really want to learn from and could have a lot relayed to me in 24 hours. The flip side to that being the possibility of being able to try and shed my own light on various people as captive audiences. I wouldn't mind Bryan being tied to me for 24 hours with nowhere to run, but I can't imagine letting him last that long. Then of course there are the sexual possibilities, of which I won't go into detail. If you know me, you can figure out the person(s) I could enjoy a full day with.

And as I write this I realize that this needs to be someone I could imagine myself being comfortable peeing in front of.

*Where are you right now?
Right now I'm at a crossroads, more than one actually, and trying how best to move along.

*How do you feel about carrots?
I think that most things orange are rather tasty.

*How many chairs at the dining room table?
Four, though they do not match.

*Who is the best Spice Girl?
Invisible Mute Paraplegic Spice.

*Do you know what time it is?
Well, is there a computer out there that doesn't have the time running in the lower right corner of its screen? Let me struggle here to find that answer. . .; it is 4:48PM.

*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
I would hit the call button and wait for help. I'd also start to sweat as the air in these things tends to be stuffy and not fresh, which would kick in my eagerness to be back in fresh air.

*What's your favorite kind of gum?
My favourite gums are the ones that hold in my teeth.

*T or F: All is fair in love and war?
False. Karma is a bitch, not my bitch.

*Do you use words that you don't know the meaning to?
I try very hard to use the correct word. Sometimes this makes me freeze up in the middle of a sentence as I struggle to remember the word I know is on the tip of my tongue.

*Do you like to sleep?
I used to love sleeping. And now I dread it.

*Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings?
Whichever states they are, I'm hoping their sanity spreads and we can all drop Daylight Savings as I hate it.

*Do you know the song Sugar We're Goin' Down?
Not only do I know it, but that particular Fall Out Boy song is probably in my box widget to the right.

*Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
Sure, and I would name it Bumblebee 2.0

*What's something you've always wanted?
I've always wanted a happy, worry-free life. I'm working on it, but you can't always get what you want.


*Do you wear a lot of black?
I have a couple black t-shirts but tend to avoid the colour as California is hot 9 months out of the year and black exacerbates this. Besides I'm no goth/emo self-hating cut myself whiney bitch.

*Describe your hair.
'Tis silky smoothe and one of my best physical features. And brown, for the moment.

*Are you an adult?
Only when I have to be.

*Who is/are your best friends?
They know who they are and don't require validation.

*Do you have a tan?
I do (see question above about California weather), but not as dark of one as last year.

*Are you a television addict?
Now that I've canceled the cable, not quite. Though I do adore tv.

*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?
I think I would have to spend time with her before I could honestly assess this one, and a couple hours once per year just isn't enough time to do so.

*Are you a sugar freak?
I like sweets, but try to avoid them as much as I can. I am a Splenda freak however.

*What is your favorite movie?
In what genre?
The Big Lebowski or the Professional, probably.

*What's your sign?
I am a Gemini and so am I.

*Where do you wish you were right now?
My ideal weight.

*Who did you copy this from?
Mark

*How do you know them?
From our blogs and online chats

*Would you have sex with them?
That would depend a lot on the in-person chemistry, wouldn't it? You can think someone you know far away is the bee's knees and then meet them and have something feel somehow off. I once had a roommate who fell in love with this girl he met on a personals website. They exchanged accurate photos of each other, ran up the long distance bill to hundreds of dollars each month and when they finally met couldn't get away from each other quicker.

*What brand of shirt are you wearing?
I am wearing a tee from Threadless Tees. Link below.

*Have you ever smoked anything?
I have tried pot in the past, tobacco never.


And since we're in this train of thinking.... This week's TMI

1. What is the best relationship advice you've ever received?
My best advice came from my grandfather in a letter he wrote to me for my high school graduation. This advice was mine and mine only; you don't get to have it.

2. How many people have you dated at once? How many people do you think it is acceptable to date at once?
When Denise and I began to date I was in various levels of date mode with a total of three women. I think that so long as you're honest about your non-monogamy with all of your dating partners that it doesn't matter how many of them you have.

3. What made your worst kiss so bad?
It was very very wet, like dog drool wet.

4. Can a relationship last if the sex is bad?
Not a romantic relationship, no. If the sex goes bad and can't be mended, its days are numbered.

5. What one thing would you like your partner to do every time you have
sex with them?
Cum.

Bonus (as in optional): What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Well, telling you would have it stop being a secret weapon, so get your own..

G.I.N.A.S.F.S.

Come Again

I held you in my eyes before

in my arms. I wanted you to make

the move. And so I turned away—

meandering around

in the bar, as if I simply

couldn’t be sure you

were what I was looking for.

And then you played me—turned away

with some other man—you won.

I was so tired of cruising you. Then

we lived some great pornography. Until morning.

I gathered my clothes while you slept.

I didn’t know what to say.

The rumpled sheets, the bottle

of poppers, the well-used

tube of slick glycerin lube—those

were the props

of the one night play

we rehearsed more than once

that night. I moved along

to new players, new games. Forgot you

‘til you called; I thought you were someone else.

We would have to reinvent the sequel

before I would swallow you in again,

in another place and time.

The Sun Always Shines on TV

The Sci-Fi Channel had a Tales From the Darkside marathon yesterday morning, which I DVR'd. I watched one episod with the kids where this mother who nags her kids about all the things that will happen to them if they do this or don't do that gets a magic necklace that starts making her statements come true. She ends up accidentally turning herself into a pillar of salt. The kids really dug that.

Last night I got Shortbus from Netflix. You might remember the controversy surrounding it for having the actors actually have sex in the story rather than simulate it--of course "mainstream" films in Europe have done this for over a decade; they're just also incredibly depressing. This was a very sex-positive story of a handful of peoples' journeys through relationships and sexual discovery. It wasn't really at all titillating, but it was very good. Definitely not one to watch with the kids.

Also got Confetti, a Britcom about three couples in competing weddings: musicals, tennis and naturalist (the winning wedding theme would get a house). It has the actors who play Daisy and Brian from Spaced and a bunch of actors from this other show I used to watch but can't remember the name of. "Daisy's" wedding theme was 1920s/30s musicals, except neither she nor her fiancee could sing or dance...

Four stars and three stars respectively.