Down With the Sickness

I already fucking hate swine flu. Really, I have nothing but sympathy for anyone truly impacted by it and take its danger seriously, but I'm already worn down by the rampant paranoia I run into over it: people demanding to know why cashiers at work aren't wearing rubber gloves, the massive increase in personal space around anyone who has the audacity to let loose with a sneeze, the hypochondria attached to any sudden feeling of less-than-perfect well-being. Drink some orange juice or something.

Heroes finally ended its season (and if you don't like spoilers, turn away fast and go no further). For the briefest of moments I was intensely happy: when I thought our heroes were going to form the Justice League (or something equally geeky and Hiro-appropriate for a team name) at the end. This glee was killed by their decision to stick with the inherently dull "Company." OMG WTF, right? Does the Company have shareholders? What does it sell? Yawnage. Ali Larter coming back as Hydro-man; I called that one when she "died" this last time. Unlike Ian, I was actually hoping they would reveal she's got like 100 twins and would kill her off and intro a new one with new powers every season--and they would all sleep with Adrian Pasdar's character. I loved the moral hit Parkman had to take this episode (I should say "had" since it wasn't necessary and I actually think he should have refused, like Hurley in Lost season 4 re: lying). Herein is why the Sylar fix is s-t-u-p-i-d stupid. Sylar/Nathan, among all his other powers, has the power to "read the past" of anything he touches (a la Longshot). How long before he touches Angela, Noah or Matt and remembers who he is? What about when Claire's stolen regenerative powers simply heal his brain damage until he remembers who he is? The episode previous introduced a far superior plot device for turning Sylar good--something I'll call (and true X-Fans should get this) Rogue Syndrome. The more psyches he incorporates via shapeshifting, the more fractured and "externally" influenced his psyche becomes--so get him to shift into more and more morally good people until the good guys outnumber the not-good guys in his head, forcing him to change his own moral compass; this idea made his sparing of Micah actually believable and palatable to me (and really, how disappointing is it that we finally get Nathan killed off, violently and graphicly, only to have to deal with the bad stilted acting again in future seasons?). Meh.

Contrary to everyone else, I love that Kal Penn's Dr. Kutner killed himself. I dug him the most of all the new House minions, but still was very down with that storyline (not so much the "imprint Amber/Cutthroat Bitch onto the devil-on-my-shoulder story of last episode). When I learned some months ago someone was going to die, I expected it to be Thirteen and really, really hoped Omar Epps' character would reprise his e.r. exit by jumping in front of a subway train, so I was more surprised than anyone when it was Kutner and I liked it. Yay.

Whitest Kids U'Know is on and it beckons. Later gators! OMG, "The Grapist" is going to "grape you in the mouth."