New life for me, new story, new locations.
I'm at bisexual-books.tumblr.com now, and evslash.tumblr.com now, or even https://www.facebook.com/evan.peterson
If you've lost me and want to find me, start there. Thanks for the many years of reading.
Shade and Sweet Water,
Evan
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Monday, September 16, 2013
Orange is the New Mad Sons of Breaking Dexter
I've finally given in to peer pressure and started watching *Orange Is The New Black.* My *Lost* project may or may not be on hold a week due to this. Anyway.
The show began annoying me pretty early on but I wasn't quite able to finger _why_ right away. Somewhere around the third or fourth episode, I figured it out: the show had been manipulating the viewers' emotions by painting all of the prisoners with sympathetic back stories, showing and describing poor unfortunate victims of circumstance. We're watching murderers, thieves, violent criminals and white collar criminals, drug dealers. . .and are being put in the position of sympathizing for them in a vacuum where their crimes aren't a part of who they are.
I was going to write a long screed about how much I dislike this (much longer than you're reading now), about how much I've grown weary with shows that are compellingly well-written features about universally despicable people (and not that the characters here are _all_ despicable, but not one of them are angels and so far it's only been painting law enforcement personnel as despicable). And then I came to episode seven or eight, where Taylor Schilling's character Piper's mother comes for a visit and Piper has to remind her mother that everyone there is a criminal, that everyone there made a decision to commit the crime they committed and their presence in jail was deserved. Now, this wasn't a speech that threw this entire sympathy problem into check, but I give the showrunners some credit for at least addressing the issue that, yes, these are people who did bad things. These are people who belong where they currently are and what we should root for is them doing well in their prison sentences and rehabilitating back into being good members of society.
The show began annoying me pretty early on but I wasn't quite able to finger _why_ right away. Somewhere around the third or fourth episode, I figured it out: the show had been manipulating the viewers' emotions by painting all of the prisoners with sympathetic back stories, showing and describing poor unfortunate victims of circumstance. We're watching murderers, thieves, violent criminals and white collar criminals, drug dealers. . .and are being put in the position of sympathizing for them in a vacuum where their crimes aren't a part of who they are.
I was going to write a long screed about how much I dislike this (much longer than you're reading now), about how much I've grown weary with shows that are compellingly well-written features about universally despicable people (and not that the characters here are _all_ despicable, but not one of them are angels and so far it's only been painting law enforcement personnel as despicable). And then I came to episode seven or eight, where Taylor Schilling's character Piper's mother comes for a visit and Piper has to remind her mother that everyone there is a criminal, that everyone there made a decision to commit the crime they committed and their presence in jail was deserved. Now, this wasn't a speech that threw this entire sympathy problem into check, but I give the showrunners some credit for at least addressing the issue that, yes, these are people who did bad things. These are people who belong where they currently are and what we should root for is them doing well in their prison sentences and rehabilitating back into being good members of society.
Holes
I've been feeling down more often lately. As my kids grow older, I become more and more aware of my own advancing age, of how I'm nowhere even close to where I wanted to be in life by this time, of how certain situations make any possibility of significantly changing that next to impossible at this time and that "at this time" will last at least until I'm 50.
And then I'm just romantically lonely. I'm no slouch at all when it comes to sexual gratification. If I feel needy in that regard, I've always been able to sate that need. But having sex doesn't sate all my needs and I'm growing more and more like I feel as if I'm not companionable. I really miss the intimacy of having a partner in life.
Looking these things over, as I have been incessantly for weeks now, what's really struck me is that the driving force of my feeling depressed about all of it is my feeling unable to really talk about it. If I post 99 positive, happy things online and one negative thing I get the people in my life telling me things like I'm being really emo, or that all I talk about is negativity. So reaching out over social media or other internet means (virtually my only real access to *all* of my closest friends) is something I always hold back as long as I can bear to because of the shitty-feeling backlash. And there's no one in my in-person life that I feel close to enough, that I trust enough, to talk to about the heavier emotional stuff. I had a confidante once, a remarkably handy, incredibly trusted and wholly important friend, and local even--someone I could always count on to be there for me, and whom I could be there for in return. And then my wife left me to shack up with him (Sure, the situation is significantly more complicated than that, and yet at the same time, it's also really that simple).
It's hard coming back from that level of having your trust breached. I wish I could. I think these holes in my life are killing me.
And then I'm just romantically lonely. I'm no slouch at all when it comes to sexual gratification. If I feel needy in that regard, I've always been able to sate that need. But having sex doesn't sate all my needs and I'm growing more and more like I feel as if I'm not companionable. I really miss the intimacy of having a partner in life.
Looking these things over, as I have been incessantly for weeks now, what's really struck me is that the driving force of my feeling depressed about all of it is my feeling unable to really talk about it. If I post 99 positive, happy things online and one negative thing I get the people in my life telling me things like I'm being really emo, or that all I talk about is negativity. So reaching out over social media or other internet means (virtually my only real access to *all* of my closest friends) is something I always hold back as long as I can bear to because of the shitty-feeling backlash. And there's no one in my in-person life that I feel close to enough, that I trust enough, to talk to about the heavier emotional stuff. I had a confidante once, a remarkably handy, incredibly trusted and wholly important friend, and local even--someone I could always count on to be there for me, and whom I could be there for in return. And then my wife left me to shack up with him (Sure, the situation is significantly more complicated than that, and yet at the same time, it's also really that simple).
It's hard coming back from that level of having your trust breached. I wish I could. I think these holes in my life are killing me.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Getting Lost: S01E03: Tabula Rasa
This is our first character flashback episode, the first of many Kate back story episodes. This episode clarifies that she is indeed a criminal on the run, and that she has been hiding out in Australia when the U.S. Marshals finally catch up to her. Her back story resonates with her being told that everyone deserves a chance to start over...and then she is promptly betrayed by the same person within the span of 24 hours. It parallels Jack telling her the same thing at the end of the episode when she wants to tell him about her crime--he tells her they've all died and all get to start over; he doesn't want to know (hey asshole, we do!). I have to wonder how long it is before he throws her under the bus as well when I see that.
The rest of the centrism on Kate this episode really isn't terribly interesting. I like that she returned the gun to Sawyer and that he gloriously screwed up his mercy killing of the Marshal.
What really caught my thoughts this episode were the scenes with John Locke, which were few. So far we've seen him doing a lot of sitting down. I would think someone who has undergone the same miracle he has would be spending more time enjoying his ability to walk again. I'm picturing Professor X playing basketball the first time his ability to walk was returned to him. We also have more of John's strange friendship with Walt, and Walt's revelation to his father that John calls this place a miracle. We assume he's talking about their surviving the crash, and surely that is correct, but hindsight also tells us that a lot more miracle-making is going on here than that. Also of note: John is magic (which is true for so much to come). With no crafting skill in his repertoire, a knife and a simple piece of bamboo he crafts the perfect dog whistle, attracting the return of Vincent and providing Michael the first instance of someone else mending his father-son relationship with Walt for him.
This episode has one of those annoying "play some hackneyed popular song over a video montage of characters emoting" scenes at the very end. I don't remember this being a habit. I hope I remember correctly. The musical montage ends with a close-up of John looking dark and sinister. Why?
My Questions: (I will carry these forward from review to review until they answered in the show, even if I know the answer now.)
1. What is the monster?
2. Why didn't the survivors ever go in search of the tail section?
3. Why is there a polar bear on a tropical island?
4. What federal law did Kate break that has her chased round the world by a U.S. Marshal?
5. Who is the French woman on the radio?
This is our first character flashback episode, the first of many Kate back story episodes. This episode clarifies that she is indeed a criminal on the run, and that she has been hiding out in Australia when the U.S. Marshals finally catch up to her. Her back story resonates with her being told that everyone deserves a chance to start over...and then she is promptly betrayed by the same person within the span of 24 hours. It parallels Jack telling her the same thing at the end of the episode when she wants to tell him about her crime--he tells her they've all died and all get to start over; he doesn't want to know (hey asshole, we do!). I have to wonder how long it is before he throws her under the bus as well when I see that.
The rest of the centrism on Kate this episode really isn't terribly interesting. I like that she returned the gun to Sawyer and that he gloriously screwed up his mercy killing of the Marshal.
What really caught my thoughts this episode were the scenes with John Locke, which were few. So far we've seen him doing a lot of sitting down. I would think someone who has undergone the same miracle he has would be spending more time enjoying his ability to walk again. I'm picturing Professor X playing basketball the first time his ability to walk was returned to him. We also have more of John's strange friendship with Walt, and Walt's revelation to his father that John calls this place a miracle. We assume he's talking about their surviving the crash, and surely that is correct, but hindsight also tells us that a lot more miracle-making is going on here than that. Also of note: John is magic (which is true for so much to come). With no crafting skill in his repertoire, a knife and a simple piece of bamboo he crafts the perfect dog whistle, attracting the return of Vincent and providing Michael the first instance of someone else mending his father-son relationship with Walt for him.
This episode has one of those annoying "play some hackneyed popular song over a video montage of characters emoting" scenes at the very end. I don't remember this being a habit. I hope I remember correctly. The musical montage ends with a close-up of John looking dark and sinister. Why?
My Questions: (I will carry these forward from review to review until they answered in the show, even if I know the answer now.)
1. What is the monster?
2. Why didn't the survivors ever go in search of the tail section?
3. Why is there a polar bear on a tropical island?
4. What federal law did Kate break that has her chased round the world by a U.S. Marshal?
5. Who is the French woman on the radio?
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Getting Lost: S01E01&02: Pilot part 1 and 2
The first few episodes are going to be a lot more about rehashing the plot we see and observations about character traits and what I see setting up, as I predict comparative examination to come as things progress and get revealed, rather than me talk too much about something before it is revealed in the show.
It's a little bit strange watching this episode, seeing all of these old friends for the first time and laying such a critical eye on everything. Jack is such the iconic hero in this episode; I even like him. I don't even hate Kate right away.
I love a lot of the foreshadowing and parallels we get from square one: we begin with Jack unconscious, bleeding from the side, in a forest of bamboo, with Vincent. Just as we eventually end.
Michael's only existence in this show is to chase after Walt. Whether he is physically searching for Walt or chasing after Walt's approval, this is the only purpose he ever fulfills.
From the get-go Kate is the person who demands to always go along with any trek. It isn't annoying yet, but it's already palpable. Is this left over from my previous viewings, or a trait that's already on highlight? The scene where she's running from the monster, her acting, her show of fear is really impressive to me. I love that she invokes Jack's 'count to five' method of letting fear rule and then casting it out. I would like to say it works for her too well and she successfully casts fear out forever in this scene, leaving her open to be filled with self-righteous busy-bodyness from this day forward. Kate is ultimately a good person (she oxygen masks her captor during the crash after he sustains a head injury and loss of consciousness, she stitches up Jack when they first meet), but so so annoying.
Hurley has a throw-away line that really intrigued me, and opened up a brand new line of questioning for me. During a montage of conversation he says "how do we know this even is an island?" He gets no response, but it really stuck with me. How do they, ever really know they're on an island. They never map it out (Sayid eventually will begin to). For all they know, they're on the mainland of Costa Rica or something and they never do the due diligence of verifying their situation.
Though we don't know it yet, the show is already suggesting its faith vs. reason thematic arch. John Locke is seen happy and reveling in the situation--and why not? He has received a miracle. And Rose, how little we ever paid attention to her in these episodes, she is in prayer. The game of backgammon as the oldest existing game is brought up, as is its metaphor fr the battle between darkness and light.
I am positive I see Bernard very briefly on the beach, which I know is impossible. The monster sequences are so evocative of Jurassic Park I remember feeling so strongly that it was a dinosaur.
Other foreshadowing we're gifted with: Jack's alcoholism. Kate's incessant need to run away and yet also be involved with everything. Sun's English language skills. Charlie writing on his hand in Sharpie. Sawyer holding a badge.
Continuity Inconsistencies
None yet, though some I know are coming are already apparent (Kate doesn't know how to operate a gun. Jack has chest hair).
My Questions: (I will carry these forward from review to review until they answered in the show, even if I know the answer now.)
1. What is the monster?
2. Why didn't the survivors ever go in search of the tail section?
3. Why is there a polar bear on a tropical island?
4. What federal law did Kate break that has her chased round the world by a U.S. Marshal?
5. Who is the French woman on the radio?
The first few episodes are going to be a lot more about rehashing the plot we see and observations about character traits and what I see setting up, as I predict comparative examination to come as things progress and get revealed, rather than me talk too much about something before it is revealed in the show.
It's a little bit strange watching this episode, seeing all of these old friends for the first time and laying such a critical eye on everything. Jack is such the iconic hero in this episode; I even like him. I don't even hate Kate right away.
I love a lot of the foreshadowing and parallels we get from square one: we begin with Jack unconscious, bleeding from the side, in a forest of bamboo, with Vincent. Just as we eventually end.
Michael's only existence in this show is to chase after Walt. Whether he is physically searching for Walt or chasing after Walt's approval, this is the only purpose he ever fulfills.
From the get-go Kate is the person who demands to always go along with any trek. It isn't annoying yet, but it's already palpable. Is this left over from my previous viewings, or a trait that's already on highlight? The scene where she's running from the monster, her acting, her show of fear is really impressive to me. I love that she invokes Jack's 'count to five' method of letting fear rule and then casting it out. I would like to say it works for her too well and she successfully casts fear out forever in this scene, leaving her open to be filled with self-righteous busy-bodyness from this day forward. Kate is ultimately a good person (she oxygen masks her captor during the crash after he sustains a head injury and loss of consciousness, she stitches up Jack when they first meet), but so so annoying.
Hurley has a throw-away line that really intrigued me, and opened up a brand new line of questioning for me. During a montage of conversation he says "how do we know this even is an island?" He gets no response, but it really stuck with me. How do they, ever really know they're on an island. They never map it out (Sayid eventually will begin to). For all they know, they're on the mainland of Costa Rica or something and they never do the due diligence of verifying their situation.
Though we don't know it yet, the show is already suggesting its faith vs. reason thematic arch. John Locke is seen happy and reveling in the situation--and why not? He has received a miracle. And Rose, how little we ever paid attention to her in these episodes, she is in prayer. The game of backgammon as the oldest existing game is brought up, as is its metaphor fr the battle between darkness and light.
I am positive I see Bernard very briefly on the beach, which I know is impossible. The monster sequences are so evocative of Jurassic Park I remember feeling so strongly that it was a dinosaur.
Other foreshadowing we're gifted with: Jack's alcoholism. Kate's incessant need to run away and yet also be involved with everything. Sun's English language skills. Charlie writing on his hand in Sharpie. Sawyer holding a badge.
Continuity Inconsistencies
None yet, though some I know are coming are already apparent (Kate doesn't know how to operate a gun. Jack has chest hair).
My Questions: (I will carry these forward from review to review until they answered in the show, even if I know the answer now.)
1. What is the monster?
2. Why didn't the survivors ever go in search of the tail section?
3. Why is there a polar bear on a tropical island?
4. What federal law did Kate break that has her chased round the world by a U.S. Marshal?
5. Who is the French woman on the radio?
Getting Lost Again
I've been planning to start another re-viewing of Lost: this time with an eye to reflecting on its message(s), the things that worked so well, the things some people say didn't work so well even, themes that touch me, and why something as inconsequential as a television series, a science fiction one at that, has such deep emotional resonance for me that I incorporate its message into the building blocks of my own belief system.
I'll be writing this journey up as I go. I won't necessarily write after every episode, though I will try to do so, but I will definitely write the high notes (for me, for this project) as they come. There were 121 episodes (and I will include the 12 minute epilogue included on the Blu-Ray). With a projected goal of doing 2-3 episodes per week on average (as I won't be just zipping through them, but watching them, carefully reflecting on them, and then writing) this project will take me more than a year. That's a little daunting.
I will be welcoming discussion, with some ground rules: I'm not doing this to provide anyone a soapbox for bitching about the show's end, or any of its loose threads. Save that soap box for when I review the final two-part episode. Preferably, any discussion will center around the episode at hand, and my sharing of myself through it.
Of note: this show has been off the air since May 2010. Anyone who hasn't seen the show and reads these writings, don't read them if spoilers will bother you. I won't be giving spoiler warnings. Anyone reading along is expected to have also watched the series, or to be unconcerned about my discussion spoiling it for them.
This is going to be a very big, and very personal, project for me. Respect that, and I'll keep on sharing the journey with you as I go--because this journey is so much better in the company of those I love. I will start with public shares, and slowly tighten in to the smallest of my circles if this simple civility can not be abided.
Another note: if rough language will bother you, you might not want to read them either. Sometimes, for rhetorical emphasis, I talk like a sailor. Tender ears and eyeballs should keep that in mind.
I'll be starting this journey a few hours from now.
Care to get lost with me?
I've been planning to start another re-viewing of Lost: this time with an eye to reflecting on its message(s), the things that worked so well, the things some people say didn't work so well even, themes that touch me, and why something as inconsequential as a television series, a science fiction one at that, has such deep emotional resonance for me that I incorporate its message into the building blocks of my own belief system.
I'll be writing this journey up as I go. I won't necessarily write after every episode, though I will try to do so, but I will definitely write the high notes (for me, for this project) as they come. There were 121 episodes (and I will include the 12 minute epilogue included on the Blu-Ray). With a projected goal of doing 2-3 episodes per week on average (as I won't be just zipping through them, but watching them, carefully reflecting on them, and then writing) this project will take me more than a year. That's a little daunting.
I will be welcoming discussion, with some ground rules: I'm not doing this to provide anyone a soapbox for bitching about the show's end, or any of its loose threads. Save that soap box for when I review the final two-part episode. Preferably, any discussion will center around the episode at hand, and my sharing of myself through it.
Of note: this show has been off the air since May 2010. Anyone who hasn't seen the show and reads these writings, don't read them if spoilers will bother you. I won't be giving spoiler warnings. Anyone reading along is expected to have also watched the series, or to be unconcerned about my discussion spoiling it for them.
This is going to be a very big, and very personal, project for me. Respect that, and I'll keep on sharing the journey with you as I go--because this journey is so much better in the company of those I love. I will start with public shares, and slowly tighten in to the smallest of my circles if this simple civility can not be abided.
Another note: if rough language will bother you, you might not want to read them either. Sometimes, for rhetorical emphasis, I talk like a sailor. Tender ears and eyeballs should keep that in mind.
I'll be starting this journey a few hours from now.
Care to get lost with me?
Monday, February 11, 2013
Love Just the Same?
So, as I mentioned in my earlier comment in another's thread, we went
forward with pursuing adoption for one of our foster children. That
didn't pan out for reasons beyond this conversation, but Sara is still a
part of my life today and I love her as my daughter now as I did then
(friends here with big memories will remember me writing about her on
her 21st birthday last April).
i don't think he realizes his own potential to love an adopted child just the same
I. . .don't know. Mind you, I'm only speaking for myself and feel like I'm making myself look pretty awful here, but because I know how I feel about this, I would be irrationally paranoid my partner would feel the same way.
Yes, I fully believe that love is limitless and we can therefore love so many people in so many different ways and intensities. And, no doubt whatsoever I would love an adopted child. But. . .
Once upon a time, I had a wife and we had a third/lover/boyfriend. And we had a barrier protection rule that my wife and our third secretly disrespected every time they were together w/o me. And then my wife went off birth control before he had a deployment so we could work on making a baby and they continued disrespecting the barrier protection rule. And then my wife became pregnant with Tasmia and I learned about the protection issue.
With months of doubt growing in front of me. With rationality telling me that I love her, I love him, I love his kids with his wife...of course I would love this baby, even if she wasn't "mine." And then Tasmia was born, and she didn't look like the other three kids as babies. She was darker complexioned (he is half Thai). And I loved her.
But I didn't love her the same. And no one could beat me up over it as much as I beat myself. But I just could not bond to my new baby like I did with my others. It tore me apart.
A year later I finally just couldn't handle the lack of knowledge, the resentment (I understand that my problem was a lot more the betrayal at the hands of my wife and our partner than my ability to love), how awful it made me feel. And so I had the paternity test done.
Everything changed. If you know me now, and see me with Tassy, it's all there. I feel as if I robbed myself and my daughter of a year of bonding with her over something as idiotic as genetics. I can't get any of this back.
And the experience has forever left me wondering about the intensity of love. Would I, had we adopted her, love Sara as much as I love my biological children? I worry that the truth would make me a horrible person.
i don't think he realizes his own potential to love an adopted child just the same
I. . .don't know. Mind you, I'm only speaking for myself and feel like I'm making myself look pretty awful here, but because I know how I feel about this, I would be irrationally paranoid my partner would feel the same way.
Yes, I fully believe that love is limitless and we can therefore love so many people in so many different ways and intensities. And, no doubt whatsoever I would love an adopted child. But. . .
Once upon a time, I had a wife and we had a third/lover/boyfriend. And we had a barrier protection rule that my wife and our third secretly disrespected every time they were together w/o me. And then my wife went off birth control before he had a deployment so we could work on making a baby and they continued disrespecting the barrier protection rule. And then my wife became pregnant with Tasmia and I learned about the protection issue.
With months of doubt growing in front of me. With rationality telling me that I love her, I love him, I love his kids with his wife...of course I would love this baby, even if she wasn't "mine." And then Tasmia was born, and she didn't look like the other three kids as babies. She was darker complexioned (he is half Thai). And I loved her.
But I didn't love her the same. And no one could beat me up over it as much as I beat myself. But I just could not bond to my new baby like I did with my others. It tore me apart.
A year later I finally just couldn't handle the lack of knowledge, the resentment (I understand that my problem was a lot more the betrayal at the hands of my wife and our partner than my ability to love), how awful it made me feel. And so I had the paternity test done.
Everything changed. If you know me now, and see me with Tassy, it's all there. I feel as if I robbed myself and my daughter of a year of bonding with her over something as idiotic as genetics. I can't get any of this back.
And the experience has forever left me wondering about the intensity of love. Would I, had we adopted her, love Sara as much as I love my biological children? I worry that the truth would make me a horrible person.
Thursday, February 07, 2013
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
+Vita Tres
got me looking at my astrological charts for the first time in forever.
It's interesting how well I actually see myself represented here,
including within some of the predictions it has/had for me later in
life. (Also, Vita, yours was a nice and interesting read as well)
Sun and Moon in Gemini
You were born with both the Sun and the Moon in the sign of Gemini. This indicates, among other things, that your individuality and personality are harmonious. Both positions give you an astute and alert mind. You tire of things easily, but this is not to say that you lack strength. You are drawn to humanistic concerns and would like to see everyone happy and encouraged to express their own views.
You see life as an enthusiastic frolic, and there is little seriousness in you. You make many friends among intellectuals and literary people and have affiliations with numerous societies and associations. You are fortunate enough to be involved in work and activities that satisfy your inner needs.
You read voraciously and you can live on your intelligence.
People may criticize you by saying that you are inconsistent and cannot be relied upon. Fortunately, you do possess characteristic consistency: there is agreement between what you do and what you feel. You are one of those people who think that all problems in life can be solved through intelligent discussion and reasoning.
The key to a better integration of yourself is to deepen the conceptual side of your mind and simultaneously strengthen your will, giving it more force and unity of purpose.
Ascendant in Scorpio, Mars in the Ninth House
At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Scorpio was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mars is located in the ninth house.
Your life will be marked by your shrewd, secretive, obstinate, clever, and reserved disposition. You remain an enigma: with these traits, your life events could be either very tragic or very fortunate. To which category of Scorpio do you belong? There are two types, the extremely emotional, attracted by those pathological aspects of biological relationship, or the highly mystical, concerned with spirituality.
You are a person of extremes, very sensitive and desirous of attachment. There is some attraction to the occult or to psychic phenomena. You are active in the sense that there is a psychological struggle going on inside you between the positive and negative poles-those of affirming and satisfying or rejecting and repressing. You are very intense in your feelings and remain passionately attached to the person you love. Similarly, when you dislike someone you are very fixed in that feeling. However, there is room for optimism in that: whatever type of Scorpio you may happen to be, there exists a desire deep in your inner self for psychic regeneration.
At some point in your life, after the occurrence of a major dramatic event that will affect you deeply, the goal and entire expression of your ego may alter entirely. The intensity and profundity of your passion, however, will always be constant. You have a tendency to go into the shadows and secretly plan the course of action you will take, reluctant to let others know the exact nature of your mood or feelings. In your sexual affairs you are full of passion and strong attachment.
Exert more control over your passions; don't be so resentful of others. Use your strong will and character for favorable and beneficial things.
You have a strong inclination to be involved in medicine, perhaps even surgery. You are attracted by research and investigation in general.
Your life will be geared to the acquisition of higher knowledge, and in a material sense, to the pursuit of activities pertaining to foreign countries. Your mind is over-enthusiastic in regard to philosophic or religious subjects, with a strong tendency for emotion to over-shadow reason - to allow impulse and emotional desire to overrule your rational principles.
Unless you are able to exercise a great deal of self control, this position may incline you to break away from all the religious and philosophical teachings you received in childhood and to adopt, in the extreme, a libertine manner of expression which will be far removed from any accepted ideology.
Moon in the Seventh House
The Moon was found in the seventh house at the time of your birth.
Exciting romance may occur at an early stage in life. We must warn you, however, that unless modified by further interpretations, the partner may have fluctuating affections.
You're also one of those who throughout the relationship manifests a great variety of personality roles and who seldom shows in intimacy his real nature.
Venus in the Seventh House
Venus was found in your seventh house at the time of birth.
Regarding marriage and other intimate relationships this is one of the best influences existing. You have been promised a happy relationship with a very attractive, lovely, and pleasing person. You have the potential to derive both emotional and financial gain through this connection.
Your individuality is thrust toward the environment and this will lead to happiness as well as a psychological compensation for any disabilities. In your interaction with other human beings, there will be harmonious relationships.
You will achieve balance through sentimental affection, aesthetics, art, and relationships.
Venus Opposition Ascendant
Venus opposition the Ascendant indicates that you are drawn to refined and sophisticated people. You are well-mannered, and generally people have a good opinion of you. You make concessions if it seems necessary to maintain harmonious relations.
Although you appear self-confident and assured it is difficult for you to stand alone. You work hard, although subtly, to make sure that people feel warmly toward you. You hope no one sees your negative qualities and discovers how insecure you really are.
Your best publicity agents are your friends, who freely extol your virtues when anyone asks them.
On the surface you are docile, gentle, and charming, but underneath you conspire and scheme to make a better life for yourself through the people you deal with.
Sun in the Eighth House
The Sun was found in your eighth house at the time of birth. This inclines your individuality to be oriented, in one way or another, to the deeper sides of life. Your sexual feelings are long- lasting, intense, and vital. Your inner self seems attracted to unusual matters related to the termination of life-death and its mysteries.
Traditional astrology indicates that near your middle age a crisis will rear its head in your life. If this period is successfully spanned you can expect a prolonged life with a gradual heightening vitality.
Financially, there are definite chances for money inherited from either your partner or from another relative.
Saturn in the Eighth House
Saturn was found in the eighth house at the time of birth. Because of the restraining influence of this planet, matters concerning legacies, inheritance, and the financial dealings of your partner or associates could be severely limited and may be frustrated by what seems to be harsh fate.
Psychologically you are rather serious in connection with sexual affairs. You approach sex with caution, rationality and planning. Excess reason and thought in this direction may create some frustration in sexual matters.
Sun and Moon in Gemini
You were born with both the Sun and the Moon in the sign of Gemini. This indicates, among other things, that your individuality and personality are harmonious. Both positions give you an astute and alert mind. You tire of things easily, but this is not to say that you lack strength. You are drawn to humanistic concerns and would like to see everyone happy and encouraged to express their own views.
You see life as an enthusiastic frolic, and there is little seriousness in you. You make many friends among intellectuals and literary people and have affiliations with numerous societies and associations. You are fortunate enough to be involved in work and activities that satisfy your inner needs.
You read voraciously and you can live on your intelligence.
People may criticize you by saying that you are inconsistent and cannot be relied upon. Fortunately, you do possess characteristic consistency: there is agreement between what you do and what you feel. You are one of those people who think that all problems in life can be solved through intelligent discussion and reasoning.
The key to a better integration of yourself is to deepen the conceptual side of your mind and simultaneously strengthen your will, giving it more force and unity of purpose.
Ascendant in Scorpio, Mars in the Ninth House
At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Scorpio was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mars is located in the ninth house.
Your life will be marked by your shrewd, secretive, obstinate, clever, and reserved disposition. You remain an enigma: with these traits, your life events could be either very tragic or very fortunate. To which category of Scorpio do you belong? There are two types, the extremely emotional, attracted by those pathological aspects of biological relationship, or the highly mystical, concerned with spirituality.
You are a person of extremes, very sensitive and desirous of attachment. There is some attraction to the occult or to psychic phenomena. You are active in the sense that there is a psychological struggle going on inside you between the positive and negative poles-those of affirming and satisfying or rejecting and repressing. You are very intense in your feelings and remain passionately attached to the person you love. Similarly, when you dislike someone you are very fixed in that feeling. However, there is room for optimism in that: whatever type of Scorpio you may happen to be, there exists a desire deep in your inner self for psychic regeneration.
At some point in your life, after the occurrence of a major dramatic event that will affect you deeply, the goal and entire expression of your ego may alter entirely. The intensity and profundity of your passion, however, will always be constant. You have a tendency to go into the shadows and secretly plan the course of action you will take, reluctant to let others know the exact nature of your mood or feelings. In your sexual affairs you are full of passion and strong attachment.
Exert more control over your passions; don't be so resentful of others. Use your strong will and character for favorable and beneficial things.
You have a strong inclination to be involved in medicine, perhaps even surgery. You are attracted by research and investigation in general.
Your life will be geared to the acquisition of higher knowledge, and in a material sense, to the pursuit of activities pertaining to foreign countries. Your mind is over-enthusiastic in regard to philosophic or religious subjects, with a strong tendency for emotion to over-shadow reason - to allow impulse and emotional desire to overrule your rational principles.
Unless you are able to exercise a great deal of self control, this position may incline you to break away from all the religious and philosophical teachings you received in childhood and to adopt, in the extreme, a libertine manner of expression which will be far removed from any accepted ideology.
Moon in the Seventh House
The Moon was found in the seventh house at the time of your birth.
Exciting romance may occur at an early stage in life. We must warn you, however, that unless modified by further interpretations, the partner may have fluctuating affections.
You're also one of those who throughout the relationship manifests a great variety of personality roles and who seldom shows in intimacy his real nature.
Venus in the Seventh House
Venus was found in your seventh house at the time of birth.
Regarding marriage and other intimate relationships this is one of the best influences existing. You have been promised a happy relationship with a very attractive, lovely, and pleasing person. You have the potential to derive both emotional and financial gain through this connection.
Your individuality is thrust toward the environment and this will lead to happiness as well as a psychological compensation for any disabilities. In your interaction with other human beings, there will be harmonious relationships.
You will achieve balance through sentimental affection, aesthetics, art, and relationships.
Venus Opposition Ascendant
Venus opposition the Ascendant indicates that you are drawn to refined and sophisticated people. You are well-mannered, and generally people have a good opinion of you. You make concessions if it seems necessary to maintain harmonious relations.
Although you appear self-confident and assured it is difficult for you to stand alone. You work hard, although subtly, to make sure that people feel warmly toward you. You hope no one sees your negative qualities and discovers how insecure you really are.
Your best publicity agents are your friends, who freely extol your virtues when anyone asks them.
On the surface you are docile, gentle, and charming, but underneath you conspire and scheme to make a better life for yourself through the people you deal with.
Sun in the Eighth House
The Sun was found in your eighth house at the time of birth. This inclines your individuality to be oriented, in one way or another, to the deeper sides of life. Your sexual feelings are long- lasting, intense, and vital. Your inner self seems attracted to unusual matters related to the termination of life-death and its mysteries.
Traditional astrology indicates that near your middle age a crisis will rear its head in your life. If this period is successfully spanned you can expect a prolonged life with a gradual heightening vitality.
Financially, there are definite chances for money inherited from either your partner or from another relative.
Saturn in the Eighth House
Saturn was found in the eighth house at the time of birth. Because of the restraining influence of this planet, matters concerning legacies, inheritance, and the financial dealings of your partner or associates could be severely limited and may be frustrated by what seems to be harsh fate.
Psychologically you are rather serious in connection with sexual affairs. You approach sex with caution, rationality and planning. Excess reason and thought in this direction may create some frustration in sexual matters.
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