Initially, I chalked my ex, Shelley's stalking prowess as the mad skills of the mentally deranged (a thesis that does seem to grow as of late--all the craziest people I know seem to also be the best stalkers), but something's happened to make me question that theory.
Maybe Shelley's psychosis isn't what made her a great stalker; maybe it's her religion (she being a Mormon and I being an inactive one).
When we moved back in September, I got this form letter in the mail from the LDS Church. It had my name, birthdate and address and asked if I, living at my new address, happened to be the same dude. Thinking it the easiest way to close that chapter of my life, I checked the box indicating "No, I am not the droid you're looking for" and mailed it back to them.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago and two of the local missionaries are at my door. They're asking for me by name and want to know if there is anything they, or the church, can do for me and mine. I'm too polite and sent them packing nicely. What I learned was, my answering the "no" box meant nothing; they continue to have me as a registered member of the local ward and they know how to find me. This last is most scariest if Shelley ever has another psychotic break and decides we're "meant to be together" again.
(I've actually been putting off this post because someone I'm friendly with in real life, who recently revealed themself as a reader of this blog, is also LDS and I felt weird about blogging this. Of course, this person is not a psychotic or a stalker, nor do I really think all Mormons are--but apparently they'd be pretty good at it if they wanted to)
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5 comments:
Without getting flamed by your friend...
Yeah cults are good like that. I still remember being stupid in college and giving the Dinetics(sp) my phone number after, on a lark, taking a personality test.
That's also why I made sure that when Adam and I visited their 'anti pyschology' museum in LA, we both didn't sign our real names.
Will blog (maybe saturday) how I annoyed family by calling the current pope... Nazi pope. I think I call them as I see them, my older brother things I'm religously intolerant... which I guess I am.
Funny you should mention the FBI...
Return Missionaries are recruited, as a young man I spoke with a couple of LDS men about the opportunities in the "Intelligence Community" (one of them was the head of an FBI field office). I didn't serve a mission or finish a four year degree (they prefer Accounting, but English is okay too; six days of paperwork for every day in the field!) so I'm just an amatuer stalker. Much to learn have I, brother. ;-]
Why not be religiously intolerant, Drew? Lots of good Christians are already. :)
And I call him Nazi-Pope too.
"wolfie" ,heh, you shouldn't fuel my conspiracy theories so.
Christ that's scary!
You so blew it. You should have had a grocery list prepared. Ahh, damn them missed opportunities.
Oh and yes, I know I have not posted in forever. Unfortunately, my life is dull, repetative and decidedly boring outside of my active fantasy life. Which, I might add, I refuse to share with anyone owning a working gag reflex. (No, I don't know what that meant either. See why I'm not posting?) xoxo
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